Every twice in a while, I get "the feeling." I know I'm not alone. I know every mom gets "the feeling." "The feeling" is that realization that you will never ever ever ever ever have another pregnancy. Ever. And maybe you're not so sure about that decision.
The other day at work, we were talking about favorite smells. So many people said a freshly bathed baby was the very best smell. I imagined sticking my nose on the back of my little ones' necks when they were still wiggling wet and full of that yummy bath smell. I will never have a new neck to sniff again.
I realized the other day when I was looking at a pregnant woman that I will never wear a really comfortable pair of maternity jeans again. I will never look down after a big meal and watch the undulation of a baby getting all comfy in utero.
I will never (and I may be the rare one who actually LOVED this) have that amazing two day hospital stay where nurses tended to my every need people brought me food and flowers in celebration of the new life.
And then, while I'm smack in the middle of enjoying "the feeling," one of my children kicks, pulls, pushes, or looks at one of my other children. A shrill screech echoes through the house. And just like that, "the feeling" passes.
I have "the feeling" too. A lot. It's good to hear someone else talk about it too. The finality of knowing I'll never be pregnant again is just, so, well....final. I mourn it sometimes and am equally grateful that I never have to do it again. Clearly I'm conflicted. :) Thanks for your words.
ReplyDelete