Please note: This post has been written with the blessing of Mr. Lindstrom.
The deed is done. Just last week, Mr. Lindstrom went under the knife for a:
Here's how the decision was made, according to the brochure. You see, we saw the cover - and knew it was for us. I have always wanted to walk hand in hand on a deserted beach wearing a sundress and sunhat. I mean, I've done it before, but NEVER with a sweater draped over my shoulders and tied just so under my chin. And oh, how Mr. Lindstrom LOVES his khakis and camp shirts with matching sneakers. Could a Vasectomy make this possible for us? Could it?
So, we sat together, Mr. Lindstrom with his coffee, me with my tea. I put on my favorite jeggings and slouchy sweat socks, and we cuddled on what appears to be a great big pillow while we had this serious discussion. This is how we always sit when having important discussions about permanent decisions.
Following an awkward one handed neck message, given by a very physically fit Mr. Lindstrom, we decided that we were ready to take this step in family planning.
Even though the surgery itself only took 45 minutes, we aged quite a bit. I swapped my jeggings for an unflattering pair of pleated khakis, and sliced up some apples for Mr. Lindstrom. After surgery like this, he can't be expected to slice his own apples. Besides, he's been told to avoid complications by taking it easy, so he sat in a recliner while I stood beside him, crouching slightly like I had to pee for hours, handing him apple slice after apple slice. My back was sore from standing at such an awkward angle, but I love him, and this is what you do when you love someone. See how we are looking at each other so adoringly, or smiling awkwardly?
Editors note: The slippers worn by "Mr. Lindstrom" in this picture look remarkably like the actual Mr. Lindstrom's slippers. Thus, I cannot make fun of them.
And now that we're all done: We can put on our parkas, and borrow some children that look nothing like our own and walk in peace and happiness.
We're so happy.
lol Hi-LAR-ious!
ReplyDeleteI love this so much!
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard I woke the baby up. That's on YOU Colleen!
ReplyDeleteYou have outdone yourself - I forwarded this post to every girlfiend in my e-mail listing. I am still crying.......
ReplyDeleteI lawled.
ReplyDeleteYOU are the funniest girl on the planet! BWAH HAHA!
ReplyDeleteOh, TOO funny. And those slippers look exactly like my grandfather's. ;-)
ReplyDeleteLOVE THIS! Especially since in those MANY hours of snowed in, my husband and I had this conversation more than once over the weekend. That was right after we heard the commercial for Essure and I "essured" him that I would not be having that procedure but instead he would be taking the necessary step. Sending this to him now so he can see how perfectly happy with can be with this decision! Ha!
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up Colleen!!! Great post!
ReplyDeleteyou crack me up and make me cry.
ReplyDelete(come to think of it, i bet that's what mr. lindstrom said)
Love it Colleen this step will be taken in our house when the time comes :)
ReplyDeleteThat's EXACTLY how it happened with us too. How do they know?!! (Thanks Colleen. This was hilarious!)
ReplyDeleteI am highly amused. :D
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. After a night of really bizarre dreams, I SO needed this laugh!
ReplyDelete