Manic Monday Blogarrhea: The ER Version

Most of my Saturday night/Sunday morning was spent in the ER with a sick four year-old, and in the infinite downtime I picked up some observations that may help you with any future ER journeys:

- People watching in the ER at 3 a.m. is at its prime. My four year-old was wearing glow in the dark footie jammies and carrying his sweet little woobie (blankie). We were seated in the waiting room next to a 20 something club girl complete with strapless top, plasticky looking leggings, blue leopard print stilettos and a neck brace. She was a legitimate hot mess. Screaming into her phone, "I SAID, I AM AT THE HOSPITAL IN THE EMERGENCY ROOOOOOM GET DOWN HEEEEEEERE!" The four year-old was just staring at her, and I can't say it occurred to me to ask him to stop. I know it's not polite, but I could hardly keep my eyes off of her either.

- There is not much interesting TV on at 3 a.m. at all, and they don't have Sprout or Nick Jr. at our hospital. I guess I'm either saying, get creative about other methods of entertainment, or choose your hospital based on their children's programming options. I made a note to myself to always have my iPod charged and in close proximity to my wallet, so that should we find ourselves on that journey again, at least he'll have some games to play or a movie to watch or something. That said, my four year-old gained an appreciation for Steve Urkel watching re-runs of Family Matters. This is appropriate, because it seems that they wear the same style of pants (this mommy needs to buy this rapidly growing kid longer pants, stat.)

- George Clooney does not work in the ER.

- Neither does Patrick Dempsey.

- The above 2 points do not mean that your Dr., no matter how far from Clooney or Dempsey he actually is, will realize that he is not as hot as either of them.

- As tempted as you may be to recreate those awesome blanket warmers that they have at the hospital at home with your oven, just don't. I didn't, but it was early? late? and I was delirious and sleep deprived, and I thought about it.

- When you are on your way home at 6 a.m., and you realize that you don't have any coffee at your house, but you'll need it because everyone else is waking up and you still have to be their parent, remember that Burger King has better coffee than McDonalds. You can feel free to disagree with me on this, all I'm saying, is remember where you prefer your coffee from, it will mean the world to you (and those you love).


  1. My last trip to the ER was in October and started with me watching something about the apocalypse and the Mayans on the History Channel. Because while waiting for my pancreas to explode, nothing is more calming than thinking about the end of the world.

    P.S. - That was sarcasm.

  2. This made me laugh. Thanks for that. It also made me recall our last visit to the ER. They were apparently bored with the same ol' routine. So after our son, who had pneumonia, was 'sort-of' treated the entire staff got distracted by the excitement of a trauma and forgot we were there. It took hours to get discharged. Oh my gosh I was crazy mama after our 6th hour in that place. I would have been the one to stare at that evening.

  3. Ugh. ERs with little ones is such a drag - so glad club girl and Urkel helped you pass the time! Hope Ollie's feeling better!

  4. I was at the Animal ER on Saturday afternoon with my poodle Sabrina & I got to watch "Pit Boss" from Animal Planet.

    I hope Ollie is feeling better!!

  5. I had a similar experience when my son was 4. It was winter, croup, and the middle of the night. We ended up chatting with a bouncer from "The Myth" who had a bleeding hand from a fight We waited two and a half hours to discover that the cold air walking from the house to the car, and the car into the hospital did the trick and we were sent home!


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