Food For Thought Friday: Everybody Wins!!!!

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I’ve written before about my method of parenting. I call it “Hoover Parenting,” inasmuch as I parent in a vacuum. I do not advise it. I fully and enthusiastically admit that this is the wrong way to parent. I AM DOING IT WRONG. It is my personal response to milder versions of the type of conversation seen in this hilarious video above. I have had countless discussions with my own Mom about this. Wondering if when I was born if she felt this tension with her fellow Mommies. She is very absolute when she tells me that some of her richest friendships came from others who were “in the trenches” with her. My experience has been that we are all “in the trenches,” but we’re in our own trenches, and we’ve made the enemy each other (unless, of course, we agree on all parenting methods, in which case… you’re cool).

There’s so much pressure in parenting. We know how important the job we are doing is, and we are (rightfully) so protective of the thoughtful parenting decisions we have made. So protective, that whether we intend to be boastful or not, we often share our experiences as though they are “right." When the margin of what is right is so very large, and so very personal.

I don’t mean to get all serious, because did you see that video above (from Mompetition)? It is roll on the floor laughing hysterical. See, it’s not what they are saying, it’s the nature of the conversation. I use the word “conversation” loosely because there is no give and a lot of take. It reminds me of this other story I once read on a blog about a parent who was being boastful about their kid’s Apgar score. HIS APGAR SCORE!!! It’s not an intelligence test, it is a simple numerical assessment of a newborn’s initial health (don’t judge me for this, but I cannot even REMEMBER any of my children’s Apgar scores. I cannot even remember my own ACT score. Although, there is a really funny story about the time I told Mr. Lindstrom that I got a 36. Mr. Lindstrom’s reply was, “no you didn’t. That’s a perfect score.” He knows me so well… I would NEVER have gotten a perfect score on a standardized test. However, I'm pretty sure I got a perfect Apgar score when I was born, so I got that going for me.)

I feel like the lone voice in the corner over here screaming “Hey, Moms, let’s just acknowledge that we’re all doing the hardest work of our lives, we’re doing our best, and then let’s get over it and talk about [insert your favorite reality show, celebrity, politician, restaurant, shoe store, As Seen On TV product, or book here].” THIS WAY, EVERYBODY WINS!!! Can I get a witness?


  1. Oh Colleen....APGAR scores? Really? My kids all scored 9 and 9 (eyeroll) I'm totally in your trench but I think you already know that ;)

  2. You are the best....
    and I am your witness....the mommy wars ... well... they suck!

  3. Oh ya, well my niece is 98% in pooping and MY kids are World Class temper tantrum throwers! Did that mom mention the size of her kid's Testicals or cone shaped heads, because that was the most remarkable thing I saw when mine came out, APGAR really unremarkable if the babe is healthy! You are spot on!

    P.S. Sadly I knew my kid's APGAR scores because of my unnecessary/obsessive reading prior to childbirth.

  4. Well, I had to ask Mr. Goat mostly because I was in worse shape than the baby at the time. I guess it was a 4 and then a 6. So clearly baby goat is DOOOMED! DOOOOOOOOMED.

    What? He's not? Oh, well then nevermind :)

    You know I totally crashing in your trench if you'll have me ;)


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