Manic-Monday Blogarrhea

- Mr. Lindstrom and I went to a hockey game the other day. We got these adorable little hockey stick stirrers in our drinks. Because I cannot possibly go one evening without constantly thinking about my kids (I do not say this proudly as though to say, “I’m such a wonderful mom I am constantly thinking of my kids.” I tell you this to expose my neuroses. It’s bordering on obnoxious), I threw them in my purse thinking, “the four year-old will LOVE these!” When I made a huge production about it, and handed them to the four year-old (who, by the way, will play with an empty tube of toilet paper for 7-10 days without sleep), he got apathetic on me like a teenager,

“Fanks Mom, what do I do with it?”
“Well, it’s a little hockey stick, so you can find something that can be a little puck, and then play a mini hockey game.”
“Well, we’re going to need to get a mini hockey table.”

Then, he put it down and forgot about it. Guess I should have brought home an empty tube of toilet paper.

- I ran into a woman I used to work with and while we were chatting, she put her hand over her mouth a little embarrassed, she said, “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet today.” It was 9 a.m., she has always been a fashionable and impeccable dresser – this day was no different, and she had all her make-up on accurately (as in, it didn’t look like she had applied it with her toddler attached to her leg and using it as a pogo stick). I imagine she worried that I was thinking about how disgusting she was, but actually, what I was thinking was, “Oh, thank GOD other people forget to brush their teeth before they leave the house! Go easy on yourself, girlfriend!”

- If ever the Federal Reserve decides to make Thomas the Train products into currency, the Lindstroms are gonna be so rich!

- You know when the absolute worst time to realize that you forgot to throw towels in your gym bag is? When you are naked and dripping wet in the shower at the gym. Ask me how I know that. Been there. After weighing all options (and let’s face it, at that moment, the options are extremely limited) I decided to use my workout t-shirt (that was full of all sorts of sweat and unseemliness) as a towel. The good news is, t-shirts make excellent turbans. And I lived to tell the story.

- Has Rachael Ray jumped the shark? Remember when 30 Minute Meals was all the rage, and then a bunch of people exposed that you couldn’t really make most of them in 30 minutes, and it just turned everyone off? It was the closest Rachael Ray may ever come to a scandal.

Plus, it has always really bothered me that she’ll abbreviate EVOO and then immediately after she does that say, “Extra Virgin Olive Oil.” I mean, why even try to save time by abbrev. if you’re just going to go ahead and explain it?

- Speaking of scandal, every once in a while, I am reminded of my very favorite scandal, that of Bill O’Reilly and Andrea Mackris. Specifically one aspect of it. Let’s just put it this way, I cannot eat falafel and not think about the idea that Bill O’Reilly, in his poor attempt at phone sex, notified Mackris that he wanted to shower with her and use “that falafel thing.” He meant loofa. I like to imagine that Bill O’Reilly’s version of “sexting” would be sending pictures of Mediterranean foods. But, let’s face it, that really would turn me right on.


  1. LOL - okay, I'm dying on the falafel thing. I hadn't heard that before. hilarious!

    maybe a pic of hummus? sexy!

  2. Colleen-
    Just say no. You have to stop saving all those little hockey sticks, pop-up umbrellas, swords, etc..(notice I only chose drink stir sticks for you). We recently cleaned out our college kid's room and guess what we found? TONS (and I mean bags, boxes, tin containers filled) of "throw away" items he had saved since preschool. Sweet huh? Not at all! He couldn't get rid of them. Did I create this monster? Yikes! Can you say "hoarding"? Let'em play with the trash from your own home. You don't need to store it for the fine venues you visit. :)

  3. All hilarious, as usual.
    But I can't go along with the teeth brushing thing; bad breath makes me gag, so I can't even imagine doing anything (except maybe going to the bathroom) before brushing my teeth in the morning. I figured that was normal, which is probably completely wrong because pretty much nothing about me is normal. Off to brush my teeth...


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