I am finding myself getting caught up again in the "parenting race." I've done it in the past, and it's never productive. You know the race; so and so's kid is potty trained, and thus and such is already speaking Spanish fluently, and what's her face is going to be president in like five minutes. Meanwhile, the Human Cannonball is still being described by my friends and parenting peers as "a total handful" (though, I think he's got a lot of spunk, and is brilliant and loving. Honestly, it really hurts my heart when other people describe him in that way -- so that hint of defensiveness you detect is definitely there.), Thing 1 knows when she's got a dirty diaper - but has no interest in the potty, and Thing 2 (having just gotten ear tubes to help him hear better... or at all) has only a small handful of clear words.
It can be really easy to think that my parenting is being judged by the skills and abilities of my children. The truth is, in some cases, it probably is. In those cases, it's my business to ignore that judgment because the fact is that my kids are my kids. They are all different from each other, and from other children. They will do things and become things at their own pace with my assistance on their cue. They are individuals, learning and growing at their own pace. None of them are going to go to college still peeing their pants, or grunting instead of using words, right? (Fingers crossed.)
Just a little reminder for me, that I thought I'd share with you, in case you needed the reminder, too.
Everyone gets caught up in this game once in a while...if for no other reason than that you are worried about your little ones.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite though is when parents of older children remind you about how so and so didn't speak until they were three and then full sentences came out and now they are graduating from Yale. Didn't you worry about him? I respond...I can't remember is usually the response.
Or, when the parent of the most well-behaved teen reminds you about the massive tantrum that teen once threw in the middle of the grocery store when they were six and should have known better.
Those stories remind me that kids grow up too fast and we should enjoy the babbling, the grunts and all the other crazies that make your kid your kid.
Thanks for the reminder!
I did. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, I refer to my daughter as "a handful" often. I think it's a compliment - she is full of spirit and energy as is my favorite four-year-old!
ReplyDeleteIt helps me to remind myself (over and over and over again) that I not training circus animals, and am RAISING HUMAN BEINGS. If I leaned on them a little harder, I probably could teach them more stupid human tricks, but what would be the point? I want my kids to grow up secure in themselves, not always looking for the next opportunity to show off for the neighbours. Keep leading with your heart, and leave the score keeping for the soccer field.
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