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Have you heard all the buzz about the Tiger Mom? I can't even really get into all of it here, but it's got people talking. Read all about Amy Chua's assertion that Chinese Mothers Are Superior here.
I've sort of looked it over, semi scanned it, and decided (like I do with most literature about parenting) that it's not for me. I can honestly tell you that there are only three books about parenting that I have read cover to cover. 1. The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp 2. Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and 3. Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman. The rest which I was gifted, purchased, or handed down, I thumbed through, and passed along.
Here's what books about parenting are missing for me, a chapter on MY KIDS. Here's what they're missing for you, a chapter on YOUR KIDS. Mr. Lindstrom and I have been thoughtfully working through an issue regarding our four year-old. We have sought out the right people to ask the right questions to, looking for information that will guide us to make the right decision for our son. Overwhelmingly, professionals have chosen not to answer our actual questions, instead answering us with words following this statement, "the trend is..." My response has become, "I don't care what the trend is for everyone else, at my house and in my family, the trend is making informed decisions about what is right for our children and our family." No "trend" can tell me what is right for my children. Seriously, there is a serious jeggings trend going on right now in fashion, and I'm not wearing them, BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT RIGHT FOR ME!!!!!
In my opinion, in the realm of parenting, always going with "the trend" is lazy. It's thoughtless. Because parenting is not one size fits all. Kids are simply not one size. So, when I am thinking about what I skimmed of Amy Chua's essay on the superiority of the Chinese mother, I am thinking - that's all right for some. Breastfeed, don't breastfeed, send to school, homeschool, be a SAHM, or work outside of the home - WHATEVER. As long as you are making informed choices about what's right for you and your family instead of just going along with the "trend" - it's gonna be all good in your 'hood!
Just a little pep talk from your friendly mom lovin' blogger!
that's the rub with parenting- it's so easy to get a glimpse of what other parents are doing without knowing the How's and the Why's and pass judgement. We've all gotta just keep on keepin' on, making the best decisions for our kids, in our situation. I could never be a Tiger Mother- at least not Amy Chua's version. I could be this version though: http://kidsarealrightto.blogspot.com/2011/01/tiger-mama.html
ReplyDeleteThe whole thought about having a chapter on your own child - Dr. and Mrs. Sears echo that in their classic "The Baby Book".
ReplyDeleteI also hear what you are saying about getting aggravated with not getting the info you need to make an informed decision. I was taking a parenting class about a year ago, and a few time asked the facilitator about seeing research to back up the ideas on which the techniques were based. Although she several times told me, "Oh, this is VERY backed up" she never showed me ANY research at all, and even said most parents wouldn't be interested in the research. What? Even if that is true, clearly I am interested in the research! If this method is so rock solid, would it be so hard to show me a little of it?!
Excellent thoughts!
ReplyDeleteLove Harvey Karp--it really does work!!
(Found you on Welcome Baby Care facebook. Will look around some more.)
Downloading "Bad Mother" to my Nook right now. Once again, thanks for the good tip. Can't wait to get my weekly rejuvenate tomorrow morning with "Get Real Girls."
ReplyDelete