Manic Monday Blogarrhea

- If I ever give the impression over this blog (or anywhere else for that matter) that I have parenting figured out, you will know that my account has been hacked. Please report the matter immediately. While I am simultaneously trying to figure out my kids needs for their age, stage, and potential rage, I am also looking ahead to the things that I am already dreading...

- Like talking to my daughter about getting her period, or counseling her on foundation garments, or explaining erections to my sons, so yes, all those puberty conversations. Also, I think dealing with stage parents/sideline coach parents is right up at the top of the list. (You may derive from this that girl Twinstrom will not be joining the pageant circuit any time soon a la Toddlers and Tiaras.)

- What kind of person thinks taking an 11-year-old, an 8-year-old, and a 4-year-old to the amusement park at the Mall of America on a Saturday night is an acceptable thing to do?Apparently this person. And BOY was I wrong.

- After one commits such an act, it is permissible (in my opinion) to load them up with unhealthy fast food. Which leads me to this conclusions, Fast Food restaurants (which shall remain nameless, but you know who you are) really need to step up their kids meal toy A-games.

- I like to give away ideas. If I think I have a good enough idea, but know (as I do with all my ideas) that I don't have the time, gumption, or desire to carry it out, I give it away so that someone else can bring it to life. Past ideas have included refrigerated lockers (for use at movie theaters, so that you may refrigerate your dinner leftovers), and laundromats that are also coffee shops by day (and a bar by night). So, as you can tell, these ideas are nothing short of earth shattering (please read with tone of sarcasm). As we were watching the new show, "America's Next Best Restaurant" on NBC where budding restauranteurs share their concepts hoping to open a restaurant - I came up with the idea for a Pho restaurant called, "What the Pho!" If you don't think that's funny, it's either because it's not, OR because you (like I did until about a year ago) are reading the word as though it's pronounced Ph-O, when in reality it's pronounced Ph-u, as though you are saying Fu'. Get it?