Manic Monday Blogarrhea

My kid looooooves the Berenstain Bears books. I have a love/hate relationship with them. I love them because a) they are books and b) they often revolve around a topic that may be a particular focus of our family at any given time (Go to the Dentist, Go to the Doctor, Go to Sunday School, Messy Room, Get the Gimmes, Too Much TV, etc. etc.). I have to note a couple of things, though. First of all, if you EVER catch me talking like Mama Bear, especially the way she talks to Papa Bear you have my permission to punish me in any way you see fit. Speaking of Papa Bear, he is kind of an idiot, but I don't think he deserves the level of emasculation that Mama doles out. When Brother bear was born, did they give any thought to what they might name their next child, should it have been a boy? I mean, sure they lack creativity, but clearly they also lack forethought. Luckily their next baby was a girl, so Sister Bear was the logical name. Then, when they got frisky again, and ended up with another baby, the best they could come up with was the name of their favorite food. By that logic, I should have named one of my children Sushi. Sushi Lindstrom does not have a great ring to it.

The number of people I know who have dropped their iPhones in the toilet is so staggering. It has me wondering; what is it about the iPhone that has us waving it over toilets so frequently? In my mind, this is an argument against the iPhone. It seems to be attracted to water. Specifically toilet water. Anyone dropped another brand of cell phone into the toilet? I didn't think so.

I am the proud new owner and wearer of Pajama Jeans. All I am going to tell you about them is this (and this should tell you everything you need to know): if Pajama Jeans are wrong, I don't want to be right. And as for you, person who thinks they are stupid and can't imagine why someone would buy a pair, don't knock 'em 'til you rock 'em.

I am having a personal crisis. I have many personal policies about what lengths I will go to to adjust and support my appearance. Examples: I am not opposed to injectables and I am all for reconstructive or plastic surgery to the degree that it fixes a problem that inhibits me from conducting my life "normally" (I am totally getting a tummy tuck someday - when I have less of a tummy - remember that I have had 2 short pregnancies, and 3 full-term pregnancies, the last of which yielded 2 babies. I don't feel like I need to say more). Here comes the crisis, I have never developed a policy on the covering of grey hairs... and guess what - THIS POLICY IS NEEDED, IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER. I have been finding grey hair right and left and I don't know what to do?!??!??! Dye it? Highlight it? Let it go? WHAT? Any help or guidance is much appreciated, I was unprepared for this stage of life. As an aside, what is the difference between grey hair and gray hair?

I am also jumping on the trend bandwagon and having a Keratin blowout this week. You know what? When I do, I'm probably going to wear my pajama jeans. Deal with it. To save time, I have been telling people that I'm getting a Brazilian Blowout (it seems more people are familiar with that term). Problem: Frequently people are already reacting to the fact that I said Brazilian, and think I'm having an entirely different experience. Really, friends... you know me. I don't know that I'd casually drop that into conversation. What I've learned is that it's important to say it really fast, and make the second part louder (so they can hear you over their gasp.)

Hey, if you're reading this, and you like it... let's make it official! You can hang with me over at my facebook page too. And would you do me a favor and click that little "like" button? It's good for my self esteem.